The new year brings with it renewed promises to do better and live fuller. Two days into 2013 and I feel no different than the way I felt the year before. Then again, these things take time.
And I have the luxury of time. The past few days, I’ve been bringing up the job hunt and my father has made no move to hurry me along. In fact, he insists there’s no rush. Just as he does with the plan, rather, my plan to fix the house up (starting with my room). My parents have never been the type to urge, to push, to force things and I am grateful for it. I just hope I don’t end up taking too much time in moving forward.
Years and years ago, I would have abhorred the idea of an 8-5 job. It was synonymous to the concept of being a cogwheel in the grand scheme of economics and industry. I’d have lost my voice, my identity, and turned into another automaton. Life would be centered around money and money was evil. The Job would have spelled routine and routine meant boring, boring, boring.
But here I am, eager to get a regular job - but not too eager, not just yet I mean because I’ve other plans I’d like to see through.
Routine is now something I want established, job or none. I’d like to find a process that works and have it up and running, whether it’s a commute route or weekly chores. I’d like my routine to include work, something that lets me earn because money isn’t the center of life but all evidence points to how it fuels life. It would be naive to think that I could get through a day without the barter of things of worth - for example, money for food.
Earning money meant I had the ability to do work, do something I’m good at, good enough for people to pay me to do what I do. In an ideal world, it would be synonymous to capacity and ability and talent, and I’d be putting theories into practice, theories learned through academics and life, in general. I would be empowering myself, the client or company I’d be working with and for, and whoever else I affect in the long run. In the grand scheme of things, I would be a cogwheel that would help keep the train moving forward, and I’d be moving forward just as well.
It just goes to show how different one’s perceptions are in the course of time. Also, thirteen year old me had way too much time, thinking angst-y, rebellious, kid thoughts.
But no matter the age, at the end of the day and the beginning of a year, we all still make our resolutions and our promises. Here’s to having some follow-through!